Friday Night Wrights: Farewell teu Ashley Edition

Habby Friday Night,

My Friends.

Welcome teu

Our Farewell teu Ashley Edition.

I begin teunight's story wif a riddle:

If a tree falls in the front yard,

will it wake the Reufus ub out ob his slumber?

I shood tell yeu that
whee did haff
a cubble ob stormy ebenings...
Sunday and Monday.
And then whee awoken Teusday morning
and went about our early morning deuings
what combrise mose imbortantly ob
FEEDING ME.

And in the course ob deuing those fings,
the phone did ring
being a berry good neighbor
calling teu check on us...
and that iss when I discubbered
I deu sleeb berry soundly.

When this big limb fell,

it did hit and dent the corner ob the roof

butt on the bright side...

the trolley whas trabbed inside.

Thiss whas a day whee haff dreaded.
Yeu see...
Here stands
Ashley
The Sixty Year Old Ash Tree

 
Whay back in the dark ages
before I whas born,
She lost a number ob her limbs.
And then
Hurricane Ike
sblit about a fird ob her
onteu the roof.

[Click here fur the Luke's hilarious account ob Life after Ike.
Funnier if yeu read in chronological order.]
And now, wif only 40 bercent left ob her...

It whas time teu say

Goodbye.

It whas quite a busy day in Houston
fur the tree emergencies
so whee were fortunate teu
find a combany wheu cood helb us that day.

When the crew arribed,
they got started right away.

There were fibe workers teu start

and odders arribed later.

They habbed one chainsaw oberator.

And one wood chibber machine.

And it whas like no fing

I habbed ebber seen.

I seuberbised from

the dining reum window.

Wif my hat remoobed
and blaced ober my heart...

I did watch.

I wanted teu make sure
they knew what they were deuing.

And they seemed teu.

It whas hard teu watch

and fascinating

at the same time.

I did take a break from
my seuberbisery deuties
teu console the Mom.

Ashley,
eben the last 40 bercent ob her
what a lot ob tree.

And bardon me for saying it,
butt shee habbed a berry stout trunk.

She whas a lot ob tree in the sky.
And she iss a lot ob tree on the ground.

I amb finking ob
the squirrels and birds
what whill be disblaced
teunight...

all while the stumb grinder
worked teu erase |
Ashley's Memory...

limb by limb
shubbing her inteu the chibber.

A truck bed ob her trunk chibs

iss likely cubbering the floors ob
an Ice House or BBQ Restaurant.

I wonder where teu find her

ass the crew gaffers their tools.

Tough day.
Sad day.

What took 60 years teu grow..

took just ober 4 hours teu erase.

And it cood knot haff been done

wifout me.

Exhausting.

- - - - -

Fank Dog It's Friday

I amb all ways habby

teu ring in

a habby Friday afternoon wif the Mom.

Whee did share

a nice leisurely walk,

berry tasty lunch

and a lazy nap

teugeffer.

And then
the Tax Accountant decided teu
download turbo software.

I hobes it incleudes
the Obedience Skool deduckshun.

I don't want teu bring it ub,

on a counta ebbery time

I make the college combarison,

the Mom tells me the story ob

scholarshibs.

- - - - -

Oobs, I digress

Correck me if I amb wrong,

butt yeu are wondering...

What Is Ub In The Back Yard.

Rain + Sunshine

=
a lot teu shneuf.

All so...
and deu teu my decision teu be
weabeless
at my Agility Skool
last Monday night...
I haff been working eckstra hard.

The goal is 12...
butt I amb making the Handler berry habby
by deuing 6
now.

I amb habby, teu.

Anodder berry fun fing about training iss
my Instructor Andrea
loaned me her toy.

I deu lubbs thiss toy.
I amb knot toy dribben,
so thiss toy iss like majick.

The Agent habbs tracked down
and ordered me
thiss toy and a cubble ob odders.
- - - - -
Becans.
Yeu are wondering
how whee cood train
so effecktiffly
wifout the becan distrackshun ob the nuts...
The Answer:
The Handler built a wall.

And now yeu know
why shee habbs sabed all the boxes.

Yeu gotta wake ub bretty early in the morning,

sabe a lot ob boxes

and butt ub a lot ob blockades

teu train a boy like me.

- - - - -

And sbeaking ob

Training...

My the Mom

caught me wif the Handler's shorts.

Yess Yess,

24 hours after training,

and the Handler just arribed home

from her odder job.

I habbed been in my little reum all day.

The Mom came in from checking the mail

and discubbered...

I remembered where the Handler left her rewards.
Thiss whas tooken ass a shame bicksher,
butt I latched on teu suck...
so the Mom tooken the shorts away

and gibben me
a talking teu...
- - - - -

Bottom Line:

It iss hard teu be
The Reufus.

- - - - -
Now...
Those ob yeu
wheu keeb ub wif such fings know...
I all ways look furward teu
the Friday Night Cheu.

Begging.
Blease.

Ahhhhhhhhh...
The Tater Gater.

...so tembting...

I wait
...

"release"

I bause teu fank the Mom.

Tater Gater Good...

and name me a
the Mom
wheu wood let yeu eat it in
the big bed.

Yeu won't need teu count berry high...

I fink...
just
one.

Fank Yeu, My Friends, fur sharing Life wif me.
Yeu know...
Yeu nebber know when yeu might lose
some fing yeu take fur granted...
so
I fink the lesson learned iss
Don't take Some or Any Fing fur granted...