Friday, June 28, 2013

Friday Night Wrights: Grand Jury Edition

Habby Friday
My Friends
and
Carrotker Witnesses.
 Welcome teu
The Grand Jury Edition
ob
Friday Night Wrights.
Me: Knock Knock
Yeu: Wheu's there
Me: Yeu Know
Yeu: Yeu Know Wheu
Me: Wright! Yeu know wheu!!!!
Reufus Wright!!!
*chuckles*
That joke nebber gets old.

Before whee diss cuss
the little matter ob o'fishull charges...
I bresent our regular segment
what iss
Fings About My Week

Saturday
Donning my nurse's cab and steffoscobe,
fetching ice backs ebbery hour on the hour...
I a tended teu the rehabbs ob
My the Mom's Knee.
Yess Yesss
a good fing teu remember
later
and then...
My the Aunt Karen
made me some
Ice Cream.
O
Yeu know how
I deu lubbs the ice cream and

Wait fur it....
 Release
Get It
I licked and licked and licked. 
 It tasted ob
banana
and beanut butter
and
Yo, Gurt...
 and then I cood stand it no longer.
 I scoobed it ub
and swallowed it
hole.
And then and then
my brain did f...f...f...
fink...
Wow. I lubbs my the Aunt Karen!!!
I amb a grate full boy
and that's a grate fing teu remember
later.

and then
Later That Ebening
in my backyard...

I caught ET phoning home
oddly enough
on the same night ob
Our Seuber Moon.
Yeah Yeah
Big Hunk ob Cheese
and sbeaking ob dairy,
my the Aunt Karen Ice Cream
iss now serbed in
a smaller bowl
fur more licks
and less swallers.
mmmmmmmm...mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Odder Fings About My Week

My Mott Toe:
Train Hard. Shmuggle Hard.

A Little ob Thiss
and
A Wee Bit ob That.
Cheeses... Bribacy, Blease!
Mourning Dubbs
Ebbery Where
and then
Our Big Holiday ob The Week
*deus drum roll wif baws on hardwood floors*
Fursday
Jeune 27f
My The Aunt Dav's Birfday 
The Mom
whas lazy and butt her gift in a bag 
butt I custom
wrabbed and baw decorated
my gift
on a counta
I amb sweet and fought full...
boaf good fings teu remember
later.
And now
wif no furfer delay...

The Grand Jury
habbs been called here teuday
teu hear the case ob

Reufus Jackson Wright
bersus
The State ob Imbullsiffnesses

Date & Time: The Ebening ob June 27f
I deu lubbs
My Skool
and I whas berry ecksited teu
deboard the Trolley
and check the message boards.
 Here iss me watching some ob
my friends arribe 
 and taking a moment
teu be grate full
on a counta
whee libbs in a country where
yeu are in ob scents
until brooben full ob guild.
Yess Yesss, Yeu.
And I amb, teu.
Now... from
whay whay whay... ober on the odder side ob that field
comes berry worry sum sounds ob
barking barking barking. 
I try berry hard teu ignore 
butt
yeu can read the worry
on my face.
I did berry whell
wif the furst few ecksersizes.
The Handler whas confident,
and engaging
and then...
The Debil made me deu it.
I left the Handler.
And I ran.
Right teu the fence.
Confronting the barking dogs on the odder side.
I ran.
Ub and down and ub and down.
I ran.
The Handler cood knot stob me.
I cood knot wood knot hear her.
I whas wearing my tab leash
and training collar
and the Handler enbisioned the berry worst...
so
She tackled me.
Her knee gabe way.
Whee rolled.
And my crime sin indescretion
whas interruptus.
The Handler sbent the next hour
on the sidelines
wif ice on her knee.
And I sbent the next hour
wif
the kraftyk9 awesome chief trainer
and
dog whisberer
teaching me a fing or fifty
about
- leabing the trainer
- loosing focuss
-  ignoring distrackshuns
-  the wif me command...
and also
- rear end awareness.
The Handler and I learned
a berry lot
butt it whass
so knot bretty.
- - - - -
and now fur
The Rest ob The Week
...
Teuday
Friday, June 28f
Here iss me
Trying teu Behabe.
The trolley ride and bed time whass
esbeshully quiet last night,
gibbing me much time teu
reuminate on my behabior,
and teu baw:

I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. 
I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. 
I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. 
I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. 
I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler. I whill knot leabe the Handler.
I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. 
I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. 
I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called.
 I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called.
 I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called. I whill come when called.

In sbite ob all circumstanshull ebidence teu the contrary,
I deu berry much whant teu blease.
Witness
Self Imbosed Ecksile.
 Bailed.
The Debozishun. 
No Bandering.
Juss
The Treuf 
Yeu haff now heard
The Hole Tail
 Now...
How whill yeu bote?
- - -
No Bill or Treu Bill
- - -
My Fate
lies in
Yeur Hands... Yeur Baws.
- - - - - -
ass an aside,
Habbs I tole Yeu lately...

I LUBBS YEU WIF ALL MY HEART!!! 
Eubsy.
 I fink
My In ob Scents
 iss showing. 

Yess Yesss Yesssssss,
and sbeaking ob
sneuters and scents....

I now dine from
a berry formal
stainless steel bowl...
conducking a sbeeriment teu see iff
my bink nose 
turns back teu black.
I whill keeb yeu bosted.
 And now iss the time
whee habbs all come teu antissibait...

The Friday Night Cheu
What O What O What
whill it be...

The Bully Stick.
*working on imbullsiffness* 
 Yess Yessss
*working on imbullsiffness* 
Release.
Get It.
nom nom nom
nommy!!!
And now...
My Fate iss turned ober teu Yeu.
I amb so fankfull fur
My Wonder Full Life.
And the berry best bart ob
My Wonder Full Life
 iss...
My Friends...
 Foughts and Brayers
are a rolling
most esbeshully fur
the Sam
and also the Thunder...