Friday, February 8, 2013

Friday Night Wrights: Nurse Reufus Edition

Good Friday Night
Ass some ob yeu may know,
many ob our recent days and nights
ass well ass
last week's
Friday Night Wrights 
habbs been pre-embted by
a ill the Mom,
a sick the tybist, a assmatick the secretary
a coughing concierge and
a boorly bublicist.
Me and My Sickly Staff
Desbarate times call fur desbarate measures,
so when my usual serbices are disrubted...
I acksebt the challenge.
*cue drammatickal musick*

Meet Nurse Reufus
 It iss berry difficult work
I got thiss.
 Thiss iss me
staring lubbingly
all the while wondering...
the Patient
make it teu dinner time

[mine... ob course] 
 There habbs been
chills and sweats
 I lubbs
the sweats
the most...
My furs dance in
the breeze ob the fans.

- - - - -
And I deu lubbs rolling ober wif
the stiff arm
right ober the Patient's head.
 Look close teu see
My Sweet Chin and Snooter.
The beauty ob
a Samsung Tablet
iss that that
the Patient
can lay in bed and
photograph her whole sick day...
eben when
the Nurse
iss assuming
the dead dog position.
 A large bart ob being
a good and attentiff
the Nurse...
iss juss
being there fur the Patient.
 A nodder bart iss...
sneaking off teu the kitchen
teu create
Rug Tob Art Work
ob found objeckts.
I don't whant yeu teu fink
that whee stayed in bed the whole week...
One abternoon,
I took the Patient outside
teu eat a becan.
 When whee came back in,
I assumed she musst be leabing home so
 I went teu
My Little Reum.
It whas
a false alarm,
and fank Dog.
Whee quarantined
the Patient's germs
and all so her *ahem* stunning beauty
fur a nodder day.
 She did finally get in teu see
the Dogtor...
The Patient got a breabing treatment
and lots and lots ob medicines.
Some ob it iss making her...
cranky and cantankerous,
 and *searches brain fur word*

- - - - -
In one moment ob her *searches brain fur word* agitation,
I went teu my little reum.
Moments later though...
My Sweet Mom
came and got me.
She said
I cood lie where ebber I whanted
in the big bed.

I chose right here
where her legs normally go.
I deub lubbs the Patient.
And I whill be here at her side
as long as she needs me.
 Ob course,
when she kicks off her socks...
It iss ebbery sock fur its own self.
And they are
Mine. All Mine.
Fank Yeu
all fur yeur concern.

The Patient is feeling
She still habbs congestion and coughs.
And on the ub side...
Her breabing iss a million bercent better,
butt on the down side...
the assmatickal medicine iss making her
nerbous, jittery, restless and insomniatickal.
- - - - -
Last night when whee were restless
The Patient reached in teu
The Mom's Secret Treasure Bag
and bulled out and gibben me...
A New Chiggin
Wrestling is fun.
 I lubbs her.
I lubbs her berry much.
 I muss remoob her tag.
 No Minnie Bearl Chiggin
in this house.
Looking ober my shoulder,
yeu whill see
Gallegher the Gecko
And then teuday,
I did fink teu
probide Gallegher wif
 a scale objeck fur
Roo Roo Borealis.
 Roo Roo habbs a real life
Giselda the Gecko.
[and I habbs a bit ob the jellies.]
- - - - -
A nodder note worfy bit ob ecksitement...
this abternoon,
the Mom realized I whas out ob my heartworm goob.
She called my dogtor teu fill my brescribshun...
and much teu my surbrise,
she inbited me a long fur the ride in
the Trolley.
Dressed teu Imbress.
Dabber Balentine Attire.
 I did so berry muchly enjoy
getting out fur a ride.
And I amb habby teu rebort...
I whas a berfeck gentleman.
- - - - -
I sat nicely out side
the door teu the V-E-T.
I broceeded frew the door when inbited.
I sat nicely by the Mom in the waiting reum.
And when the nice man came and got me,
I went habbily wif loose leash.
- - - - -
He trimmed my nails.
And he butt me on
the stainless steel lie detector.
 When whee came back out teu the Mom,
he tole her...
Reufus is such a good boy.
He freely gabe me each ob his baws.
And he kissed me while I trimmed his nails.
and he weighs
*drum roll*
76.1 bounds.
 I did berry much enjoy my outing
butt it whass nice teu get back home
and assume my position ass
the Nurse.

Habby Weekend, Ya'all.
- - - - -
I got thiss.


  1. When I am on the kinds of meds your the Mom is on for upper respiratory stuff, I don't get - uhm - crabby, I get all jumpy and talky. I chatter just like a little chipmunk to anyone who will listen. Sometimes its not pretty, especially when I am standing in line at a store and I can tell the people want me to shut up☺☺☺.

  2. Weu Heu, Reufus!

    Sounds like a busy weekend for you, with your nursing duties and all. Have you considered taking your the Mom to a Respiratorical Specialist who could get rid of this annoying stuff she has? She would be much happier without it, doan you think?

    Your pal,

  3. Reufus we know you will be extra diligent in your nursing duties. Look after mum sweet friend. We send big hugs and best wishes.

  4. Dear The Reuf...we are glad to hear the good news, and so proud of your nursing skills. We gotta look into that Samsung tablet thing, Muzzer would take a lot more pixturs if she could take them without interrupting her reading!

    Tell the Doctor about the side effects your the Mom is having. It is important that he hears these things (or she, as the case may be.)


  5. Reufus,
    With the week you and The Mom had you both deserve some real down relaxing time. You certainly met the challenge and we know that this made it so much easier for The Mom to get well. We are happy she is improving, but we want to make sure she does not have a relapse. So if you must take drastic action to make sure The Mom does not over do it, use the "sit on The Mom" position to keep her under your paws control.
    Love you guys,
    Auntie Sheila & Uncle Bob
    Cousins Hamish & Emma

  6. Weu know your Doppleganger is deuing serious work here in PA with Unkhle Paul!

    As fur those numbers...

    WOW, weu GR's weigh a lot...

    Just sayin'

    PeeEssWoo: More preuf evFURRYthing is bigger in Texas!

  7. Dear Reufus, I'm a nurse and I have to say yeu did an excellent job taking care of yeur the Mom! I would be furry happy to share my nursing license with yeu!