My Pal Dexter's Guess A Number & Valentine Surprise

Habby Balentines Day

- - - - -

I deu lubbs
Surbrises...

 And I did receibe on in my mail bocks...
a  berry sniff worfy
 and ecksiting backage in the mail.

Yeu see...

My Berry Good FB Friend

Dexter Clark

did haff a guess the number

I am finking and win

A Bully Stick.

I haff nebber ebber habbed a bully stick,

so I used my noggin and guessed

The Right Number 

between 1 and 100 what whas

2

I guessed the right number on a counta...

February 7f, 2013...
whas

Habby 2f Birfday, Dexter Clark.

Now teu let yeu know...

I did furst meet

My Bal Dexter

when he whas tending bar

at a dance.

I did knot haff an ID

so he did only serbe me

Surely Dimbles.

Whee made fast Bals
and haff been good friends ebber since.
- - - - -
Eubsy, I digress...
I whas berry ecksited teu shnoof the backage
on a counta I knew my bully stick whas in there...
butt then I did all so see...
a nodder enbelobe.

What O What
deu yeu fink
Dexter
did fur me...

Let's oben it, Mom.

Whee obened it ub

and there whas

all manner ob good shmelling

and all so fun fings.

I cood eben smell

Dexter.

There whas

A Balentine

Some Sweethearts...

one ob which

I did eat right quick.

I'll bet

the Dexter

ate a few teu.

And then teu, there whas...

* drum roll*

The Bully Stick

Check it out.
A Cool Dog Tag.

Wif this Cute Balentine

Here iss the back ob the dog tag.
I whill wear it wif pride.

And now enough ob the photos...

It's time...

teu ease in fur some
Sweet Hearts...

and grab my bully stick and

RUN

Blurry bicksher
on a counta
I had teu be chased down.

I amb a berry lucky boy

 on a counta my the Mom

did let me settle in berry close teu her

 teu enjoy
my tasty delicacy.

I did all so habbs fun wif it. 

 I tossed it a time or teu.
And I bounced on it.

Yes Yes. 

 I haff a new faborite
hobby.

Fank Yeu

so muchly teu

My Hamsumly Bal

Dexter

Yeu are
An Awesome Friend.
- - - - -
Habby Balentine's Day
teu
Yeu All.

Golden Presents: 101 Career Obbortunities

A week or so ago

I did receibe a berry sbeshull backage in the mail.

And once I did insbeck it closely,

I did note the berry familiar return address ob

My Aunt Sheila and Uncle Bob.

What cood it be
I said wif delight.
Let's oben it quickly
I said wif ecksitement...
- - - - -
I susbeckted that the backage whas
full ob lubbs,
and I whas berry much right,
butt all so inside...

A book ob
101 Career Obbortunities
and a card fur
The One and Only Me

O I deu lubbs the card.

...until one has loved...

beautiful.

Now let's
oben it oben it oben it...

It iss from my Cousins Hamish & Emma|
wif lub.

This beautiful book might be intended 

fur future reference,
butt I can't helb butt take a look now.
Ahhhhhhh....
I haff found
My Future Career.
- - - - -
#71

Taste Tester.

- - - - -

A Berry Sbeshull Fank Yeu
fur this berry fought full gift
and most ob all,
fur yeur lub

teu

Cousins Hamish and Emma,

Aunt Sheila and Uncle Bob, teu.

- - - - -By berry coincidence,
Teuday iss a berry sbeshull day...

Habby Birfday, Aunt Sheila
now let's get this
Birfday Barty 

started

Friday Night Wrights: Nurse Reufus Edition

Good Friday Night
Ass some ob yeu may know,
many ob our recent days and nights
ass well ass
last week's
Friday Night Wrights 
habbs been pre-embted by
a ill the Mom,
a sick the tybist, a assmatick the secretary
a coughing concierge and
a boorly bublicist.

Me and My Sickly Staff

Desbarate times call fur desbarate measures,
so when my usual serbices are disrubted...
I acksebt the challenge.
*cue drammatickal musick*

Meet Nurse Reufus

 It iss berry difficult work
butt
I got thiss.

 Thiss iss me
staring lubbingly
all the while wondering...

whill
the Patient
make it teu dinner time
[mine... ob course] 

 There habbs been
chills and sweats

 I lubbs
the sweats
the most...

My furs dance in
the breeze ob the fans.
- - - - -
And I deu lubbs rolling ober wif
the stiff arm
right ober the Patient's head.

 Look close teu see

My Sweet Chin and Snooter.

The beauty ob
a Samsung Tablet
iss that that
the Patient
can lay in bed and
photograph her whole sick day...

eben when
the Nurse
iss assuming
the dead dog position.

 A large bart ob being

a good and attentiff
the Nurse...
iss juss
being there fur the Patient.

 A nodder bart iss...
sneaking off teu the kitchen
teu create
Rug Tob Art Work
ob found objeckts.

Now...
I don't whant yeu teu fink
that whee stayed in bed the whole week...
No.
One abternoon,
I took the Patient outside
teu eat a becan.

 When whee came back in,
I assumed she musst be leabing home so
 I went teu
My Little Reum.

It whas
a false alarm,
and fank Dog.
Whee quarantined
the Patient's germs
and all so her *ahem* stunning beauty
fur a nodder day.

 She did finally get in teu see
the Dogtor...
The Patient got a breabing treatment
and lots and lots ob medicines.
Some ob it iss making her...
cranky and cantankerous,
 and *searches brain fur word*
emotional.
- - - - -
In one moment ob her *searches brain fur word* agitation,
I went teu my little reum.
Moments later though...
My Sweet Mom
came and got me.
She said
I cood lie where ebber I whanted
in the big bed.
I chose right here
where her legs normally go.

I deub lubbs the Patient.
And I whill be here at her side
as long as she needs me.

 Ob course,
when she kicks off her socks...
It iss ebbery sock fur its own self.
And they are
Mine. All Mine.

Fank Yeu
all fur yeur concern.
The Patient is feeling
MUCH MUCH MUCH BETTER.
She still habbs congestion and coughs.
And on the ub side...
Her breabing iss a million bercent better,
butt on the down side...
the assmatickal medicine iss making her
nerbous, jittery, restless and insomniatickal.
So...
- - - - -
Last night when whee were restless
The Patient reached in teu
The Mom's Secret Treasure Bag
and bulled out and gibben me...
A New Chiggin

Wrestling is fun.

 I lubbs her.
I lubbs her berry much.

 I muss remoob her tag.

 No Minnie Bearl Chiggin
in this house.
Looking ober my shoulder,
yeu whill see
Gallegher the Gecko

And then teuday,
I did fink teu
probide Gallegher wif
 a scale objeck fur
Roo Roo Borealis.

 Roo Roo habbs a real life
Giselda the Gecko.
[and I habbs a bit ob the jellies.]
- - - - -
A nodder note worfy bit ob ecksitement...
this abternoon,
the Mom realized I whas out ob my heartworm goob.
She called my dogtor teu fill my brescribshun...
and much teu my surbrise,
she inbited me a long fur the ride in
the Trolley.

Dressed teu Imbress.
Dabber Balentine Attire.

 I did so berry muchly enjoy
getting out fur a ride.
And I amb habby teu rebort...
I whas a berfeck gentleman.
- - - - -
I sat nicely out side
the door teu the V-E-T.
I broceeded frew the door when inbited.
I sat nicely by the Mom in the waiting reum.
And when the nice man came and got me,
I went habbily wif loose leash.
- - - - -
He trimmed my nails.
And he butt me on
the stainless steel lie detector.

 When whee came back out teu the Mom,

he tole her...

Reufus is such a good boy.

He freely gabe me each ob his baws.

And he kissed me while I trimmed his nails.

O...

and he weighs

*drum roll*

76.1 bounds.

 I did berry much enjoy my outing
butt it whass nice teu get back home
and assume my position ass
the Nurse.

Habby Weekend, Ya'all.
- - - - -
I got thiss.